Regardless of rank, it's not uncommon for a coworker to have more power than you, and there are ways you can balance this relationship.
Whether you admit it or not, there are power differences in co-worker relationships. These are often based on status, the nature of each person's duties, and who has more control at any given time.
For example, the head of an engineering team will make the final decision on the timing of a new product. This person is likely to have more power than the head of a sales team. As a result, there may be a division of power at the same level, which can make lower-level employees uncomfortable. Therefore, balance is something that needs to be developed to achieve mutual respect in relationships with colleagues at work.
Essentially, it is a process of self-affirmation, combined with the practice of self-determination, especially in times of abandonment or dependence. Here are four specific ways to implement it.
The balance of power between peers can be balanced in subtle ways. Photo: Pixabay
Know how to decline requests
It is difficult to refuse a request from a colleague who has more power. However, power is multifaceted and situational. In a relationship, it is not only the ability to influence others, but also the ability to resist the influence of others who are stronger.
So, if you’ve always said yes to every request, sometimes you should politely decline. When a co-worker puts too much pressure on you, like making a last-minute request, don’t stop what you’re doing to prioritize the solution.
Consider replying this way: "I've received your request and am happy to help, but have other things to attend to right now. In the meantime, please send more information in case I can offer another solution."
Ideally, you want to send the message that you expect them to invest in the relationship as well. If they comply with the minimum offer you make, you can confidently stand firm as equal partners.
Connect them with people who appreciate you
Another way to shift the power in the relationship is to subtly remind them of your value. This can connect them with people who appreciate you and who they respect as well.
This has three benefits. First, it is social proof that the people they admire also recognize your importance. Second, it changes the balance in the relationship because you gain power from someone they respect. Finally, it shows that you also have a prominent power.
For example, a middle manager who is trying to be recognized as a strategic leader in the company is consistently underrated by HR in promotion meetings. To break through the silo, the manager begins to develop relationships with other senior leaders and contributes to common initiatives that benefit the company. He then connects the senior managers with several colleagues in HR to get more objective, multi-dimensional assessments. This gives the middle manager more opportunities to advance.
Help them recognize their blind spots
Even the most powerful people don’t see themselves exactly the way others see them. In other words, they have blind spots. And by helping them see them, they can start to see you as a trusted partner, not a vulnerable colleague.
By stepping out of your comfort zone in a subtle and assertive way to point out what those in power are not seeing, you will gain their respect and influence.
Make them take action to get your attention
A fourth strategy for gaining the respect of a more powerful colleague is to make it easy for them to “sell” their value to you. For example, when an employee is re-hired after a company restructures or merges, many people prepare carefully for the questions they think they will be asked and try to answer them in a way that will please the colleague who is rehiring them. This may seem like a safe bet, but in reality it puts them in a position of insignificance and disrespect in the eyes of the other party.
Instead, be open to answering questions and don't be afraid to ask counter-questions. When a co-worker asks, "Why should we hire you for this job?", the answer is often to prove your worth.
But consider pausing for a moment and saying something like, "Actually, I'm not sure you should hire me. I want to know if our experiences and visions are a good fit. Anything you can share about your management style would be helpful as I plan my next steps."
By applying these strategies, you can creatively pivot and shape the relationship in the direction it deserves.
Phien An ( according to Harvard Business Review )
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