Refusing to be a 'liaison officer', Vietnamese girl 'woos' Belgian man 5 years younger

Traveling to Vietnam since 2015, Pim Gilles Felix Pluut immediately fell in love with Da Nang - the first place he set foot. Up to now, except for 2 years returning to Belgium due to the Covid-19 pandemic, Pim has been in Vietnam for 7 years and married a Vietnamese girl.

The love of a Belgian man and a girl from Da Nang, Ho Thi My Quyen, also went through all the emotions and ups and downs to get to where they are today.

Pim and My Quyen currently live in Da Nang.

Teacher flirts with student 5 years younger

My Quyen (35 years old) said that she was Pim's first Vietnamese teacher - who is 5 years younger than her.

At that time, Pim had just arrived in Vietnam. Because he loved Da Nang “at first sight”, he decided to live in Vietnam for a long time. He asked an Italian friend to find a place to learn Vietnamese. This friend introduced Pim to Quyen.

At first, Quyen liked the Italian guy first. It was only when she met Pim that she "changed targets" because she found him modest, very moderate with women and had a sharp face.

Before that, Quyen only liked older men, while Pim was 5 years younger than her. “At that time, I just let my emotions guide me, and I had not yet decided on a long-term relationship,” Quyen said.

“I was the one who 'wooed' him first. But at that time, he liked another girl whom I also knew. One time, he asked me to tell her about his feelings.

But I confessed right away 'I like you' and refused to be a 'liaison'.

Quyen is open-minded and likes to joke around, so she expressed her feelings to Pim many times but was always rejected.

After that, Quyen accepted that Pim didn't like her and opened up to another guy in the group. "When Pim saw that he and I had feelings for each other, he became 'jealous' and reconsidered his feelings. Not long after, we became a couple."

Unsuccessful breakups

My Quyen said she was the one who "flirted" first and was always proactive in the relationship.

Like many couples, especially those from two different cultures, Pim and Quyen's relationship encounters many differences that are difficult to reconcile.

During the first years of living together, many conflicts seemed impossible to resolve. Many times they said goodbye, then got back together because they realized they still loved each other.

Once, the farewell was almost certain because Pim decided to return to Belgium to avoid the Covid-19 epidemic.

“It was early 2020. Although he didn’t say it, I felt that Pim had something different in the relationship. I was the one who mentioned breaking up first even though I still loved her. Pim agreed right away and bought a one-way ticket back to Belgium.”

That year, Quyen's younger brother had an accident and an epidemic began to break out. Many sad things happened at the same time, making Quyen feel that it was one of the most difficult periods of her life.

Even though Pim has returned to Belgium, the couple still talks often. Sometimes, during their happy conversations, Quyen mentions getting back together, but Pim refuses.

“At some point, I accepted that he was not coming back to me. We still talked, but I stopped being sentimental and clingy. I just told Pim how happy my day was.”

At this time, Pim realized that his love for the Vietnamese girl was still there. Every time he passed by the places they had visited in Belgium, he missed his ex-lover. “At that time, I really regretted breaking up with her,” Pim said.

The couple resumed their relationship with Pim's promise - to return to Vietnam as soon as the Covid-19 pandemic ends.

After many times of saying goodbye, the couple still chose to move forward together.

Different from the way of washing dishes

Quyen confided that, until now, they still have irreconcilable differences. But their attitudes towards those differences have changed compared to the past.

From the dishcloth to when to get married and when to have children, both have certain conflicts in their views.

“Just about the dishwashing cloth, until now both of us still maintain our point of view and always keep both types of cloth in the house. Each person has a different way of washing dishes that they think is right.”

In 2022, the couple decided to get married after many years of living together. (Wedding photos taken in the "role-swapping" style)

At the peak, Quyen was so "shocked" and saddened by her husband's reaction that she decided to say goodbye.

“That time, I was pregnant but unfortunately the fetus miscarried after only a few weeks. I am a Protestant, my family is originally from Hue, so I take the rituals very seriously.

My parents and I agreed to go bury the fetus. I asked my brother to go with my parents because I was still in the hospital. But he said he didn't want to go and asked why he had to do that.

I was really shocked by his reaction. I was so sad that I shared the whole story with my mother-in-law. She texted back, saying, 'I know you're sad because you just lost your baby.

Pim may not be tactful in her speech, but she must understand that when she marries a foreigner, there will always be cultural differences, differences in how to respond to an event, and this will happen again in the future.

At that time, I still thought she was defending him. But a few days later, I calmed down and thought about it and realized she was right.

In the past, such differences often led to endless arguments between the two. But the longer they lived together, the more they learned to accept each other's differences.

“I gradually realized that there are things that I think are definitely right, but others do not see it that way. I will still say things that I think are unreasonable, but not with the mindset of forcing the other person to do what I want.

Instead, I changed my perspective. And since I did that, our relationship has been much more 'peaceful'.”

Since deciding to get married 2 years ago, the couple also agreed that the marriage certificate is not really important as they have to change in order to live happily in this marriage.

Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/tu-choi-lam-lien-lac-vien-co-gai-viet-cua-do-chang-trai-bi-kem-5-tuoi-17224101016021521.htm