Shocked because parents-in-law asked for money to take care of grandchildren after divorce

GĐXH - The grandparents requested compensation of about 732 million VND for the costs of taking care of the two children from 2014 to 2024, including food, tuition, medical expenses and extracurricular classes.

A Tran and Tieu Ly (Guangdong, China) got married in 2014. They have two children and live with her husband's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Ly.

Due to conflicts with her husband about life views and work away from home, A Tran left in July 2020, leaving two children to be cared for by their grandparents.

After the reconciliation process failed, A Tran and Tieu Ly divorced in October 2022.

The court ruled that each parent would have custody of one child, but A Tran did not fulfill this obligation. Both children continued to live with Mr. and Mrs. Ly.

In January 2024, Mr. and Mrs. Ly sued A Tran, demanding compensation of more than 210,000 yuan (about 732 million VND) for the costs of taking care of the two children from 2014 to 2024, including meals, tuition, medical expenses and extracurricular classes.

Illustration photo.

After receiving the lawsuit, the Huicheng District Court, Huizhou City, Guangdong Province, reviewed and decided not to accept the compensation request for the period from April 2014 to June 2020, when the whole family was still living together.

For the period from July 2020 to October 2022, A Tran and Tieu Ly each have to pay 2,000 yuan/month, a total of 54,000 yuan (about more than 188 million VND) per person.

After the divorce, from October 2022 to March 2024, A Tran had to pay child support for her second child, a total of 34,000 yuan (about 118.5 million VND).

In total, A Tran had to pay her ex-husband's parents 88 thousand yuan (more than 306 million VND) for child support.

According to the court, both A Tran and Tieu Ly had failed to fulfill their statutory obligations, while Mr. and Mrs. Ly had no statutory or contractual obligation to care for the children but had actively done so. They have the right to request their son and former daughter-in-law to repay the necessary expenses.

The news of the incident has sparked debate about the responsibility of raising children after divorce and the role of grandparents in caring for their grandchildren in modern society.

Many people agreed with the verdict: "The sentence was right, giving birth but not being able to raise the child and then pushing the responsibility onto the grandparents", "Both husband and wife are irresponsible after giving birth to the child"...

Grandparents taking care of grandchildren is not an obligation.

There have been many stories like this. Parents are busy, children have to be looked after by grandparents.

However, many parents demand too much from this "babysitting" job, considering it as their responsibility and obligation to their children.

If grandparents do not help, they will have a sullen face. If grandparents help, they will also sit and calculate and consider, and have points that are not satisfactory to criticize and complain about.

Many parents demand too much from this "babysitting" job, considering it a responsibility and obligation of parents towards their children. Illustrative photo

Before considering that, perhaps parents should answer the question of whether grandparents are really the ones responsible for their grandchildren and have to look after them?

When a couple gives birth to a child, the first responsibility for the child is theirs. They must take care of every aspect of the child's life. Even who will take care of the child after the mother goes back to work should be carefully considered.

When parents get old, it is time for them to rest after years of taking care of their children. When grandchildren come, the responsibility for them is no longer the grandparents'.

For many years they are busy with their children, and when they are old they are busy with their children's children. So when will they get to rest?

Especially when there are children who completely blame their grandparents for taking care of their grandchildren, taking advantage of them and making demands. If something goes wrong, they criticize them with a sour face.

It is their choice for grandparents to take care of their grandchildren. At their age, they have every right to rest, travel , and participate in senior citizen events.

As for the child, they have the right to choose whether or not to care for the child out of love and of course it is not a mandatory obligation.

Parents have to take on the responsibility of their children and parents should also have in mind not to bother their grandparents too much.

Grandparents helping with care is precious and appreciated. Even if they can't help, they should still accept it happily.

If you are not satisfied with the way your grandparents are taking care of your grandchildren, organize your own work and take over the task.

Don't ask others to do anything for you when they don't have that obligation and don't take advantage of your parents to make your "burden less" for yourself.

Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/ngo-ngang-vi-bi-bo-me-chong-doi-tien-trong-chau-sau-ly-hon-172250313164132822.htm