On the fourth day of Tet, my ears rang when I argued with my mother-in-law about worshiping. I don't know when my family will stop having to endure this.
I have been a daughter-in-law for 10 years. For the past 10 years, I have lived with the smell of incense because my mother-in-law is a fanatic.
My father-in-law passed away in 2017 due to stomach cancer. Since that day, my mother-in-law has been even more absorbed in worshipping. She said that everyone in life has a destiny, a debt, and my father-in-law died early because he had to pay his debt to life.
Those who want to reduce their debts from previous lives or debts from this life have no choice but to diligently worship their ancestors and gods.
Illustration: Thach Thao
The time when she worships the most is at the beginning of the year. Every year, from the 4th day of Tet onwards, my house is filled with incense smoke. She prays to welcome spring, to ward off bad luck, to pray for longevity for herself and for good fortune in business for my husband and I...
Every year when she went to see a fortune teller at the beginning of the year, if unfortunately the fortune teller said that her house had some kind of limitation, she would make even more offerings. Offerings at home were not enough, she also prepared a large tray of food to offer at temples, pagodas, etc.
However, the most shocking worship ceremony for me was the one to dispel bad luck at the beginning of the year. Every year after going to a fortune teller, she said that my family would have bad luck. Some years it was bad luck with illness, some years it was bad luck with money, and sometimes it was bad luck with mother and child, or husband and wife...
For each ceremony, she buys votive paper, filling a room. There are gold coins, clothes, hats, vehicles and two huge paper horses. After the ceremony, they are burned, the smoke billowing... Each ceremony like that costs 20-30 million VND.
My husband’s family is not rich. My husband and I have a normal income. In recent years, I have been selling online, so I have some income and have saved a little money. However, we still do not have enough money to renovate the old house.
Yet every New Year, after spending a large sum of money on Tet, my husband and I have to give money to my mother-in-law to perform one ceremony after another, to make offerings from one place to another. Seeing the pile of votive paper burned to ashes, my heart feels like it has been rubbed with salt.
I hinted at this to my mother-in-law many times. She ignored it as if she didn’t hear anything. I told my husband, but he said, “What you did is good for the whole family. Just consider it a purchase for luck and health.”
What health, what luck is bought by such worship?
On the 4th day of Tet, I heard my mother-in-law talking about the offering to ward off bad luck and the offering to start the new year... This time, she even wanted to invite a priest to the house to offer the offering. They wrote down a long list of things to prepare, all of which were out of this world.
I couldn't stand it anymore and strongly objected. I told my mother-in-law that she could offer whatever she wanted, but only one tray of food. As for the votive paper, I would cut it off completely to avoid waste.
Of course my mother-in-law refused. She scolded me for being an atheist and turning my back on the gods, and would soon suffer retribution, dragging my entire family down with it.
Her insults made my ears ring, but I refused to give her any money to prepare the offering.
I am the sole controller of the family finances. In the past, partly out of respect for my husband and partly because I wanted a peaceful family, I followed her wishes. This year, even if my mother-in-law curses me, I will not follow these worshipping rituals.
Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/ngan-me-chong-cuong-cung-bai-dau-nam-con-dau-u-tai-nghe-loi-nhiec-moc-172250208215607226.htm
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