That spring

Mai loved the feeling of coming home, washing dong leaves, cleaning beans, arranging fresh flowers, watching the pot of meat jelly for her mother and waiting for the New Year's Eve. Early in the morning, the weather was freezing cold, her woolen gloves were not warm enough, so she walked very slowly. Behind the old papaya green Wave motorbike was a sack of goods, with several bouquets of flowers wrapped in newspaper tied to the side. Mai wore a red down jacket, jeans, and white sneakers . The wind whistled in and out, the exposed part between her ankle and the hem of her jeans made her legs numb.

Illustration: China.

When she got home, Mai was cold, her teeth chattering. Her father came out to take the sack and complained: "What is lacking in our house that you have to drag all these things?". "My mother always likes things from Dong Xuan market, Dad. I took the opportunity to buy her a shirt and a pair of shoes, I bought you a pair of gloves and some socks." Mai's mother ran out of the house to the yard: "Mai is back? It's so cold, why are you still riding a motorbike? Isn't taking a bus less cold?" "Oh my god, why are you squeezing so hard? I'll get home on my motorbike, Mom." A plum-colored Dream II drove into the gate. Tra came home with a guy from somewhere. When she saw Mai, she shouted happily: "The beauty queen is back in the village, did you buy her a gift?".

Tra got on the Wave and took off the bouquet of flowers. “This lady is so romantic, she always loves flowers.” The young man who was with Tra politely greeted her and added, “Tra is very proud of you.” Mai frowned slightly, not knowing what Tra said about her that made him talk so smoothly, but she had to admit that Tra had a sharp eye. The young man looked very good-looking, he was tall with a strong and confident beauty. He was wearing cement-colored khaki pants, a chestnut-brown blazer, and a scarf of the same color as his shirt was loosely wrapped around his neck, exuding sophistication. Tra introduced her friend as Le, who was currently a reporter for a major newspaper in Hanoi .

That afternoon, Le stayed to have dinner with Mai's family. She wondered, everyone was busy during Tet but this guy seemed to be free. At first, she thought he was Tra's boyfriend, but Tra said: "This guy and I are just friends. I don't see him often because I don't go back to my hometown, but he actually comes to our house often." Le paid attention to Mai almost without taking his eyes off her. Tra wondered and asked Le: "Do you know how much older my sister Mai is than you? Her parents scolded her constantly but she's still single. What's your purpose in staring at her?" Then Tra giggled. Mai also felt a bit confused.

During the Tet holidays that year, Le always found a way to go to Mai's house. That was the first spring Mai felt moved by a very attractive young man with a proud and generous beauty. Actually, that was also the first spring Le met a girl who seemed so charming. The Tet holidays passed very quickly, Mai returned to Hanoi to work, overwhelmed with teaching classes, then school and office activities, the general manager's work made her have to strain herself to shout and yell. She often told her friends that teaching was not hard, it was just hard because of scolding students.

Le texted Mai to invite her for coffee, Mai said she was still busy preparing for the city's excellent teacher competition so she would meet Le next weekend. However, before the appointment date, they accidentally met at a newly opened coffee shop. It was the Vaquero coffee shop in the American Wild West style. The coffee shop was located on a small, quiet street with a design close to wild nature, from pieces of brown wood combined with real leather pets, Mai was impressed by the very lively deer with round, sparkling eyes like water, it stood alone in a corner of the shop. The ceiling was decorated with incandescent lights with yellow light, making the space more intimate. There was an old pizza oven, tables and chairs, vases, all harmoniously spacious and airy. The large bar with very large glass coffee jars, the fragrant aroma of coffee...

Le was startled when he saw Mai, he was silent for a few seconds then proactively greeted Mai. His awkward look looked really cute, it seemed like he couldn't hide his emotions. Then, what would come would come, as fate would have it, they dated not long after that. That spring, Mai was like a little swallow, carefree and innocent, no one thought that she had reached the age that the elderly often call "about to get old". Since meeting Mai, Le felt his heart was always cheerful. He often liked to see her smile, liked to look at Mai's clear eyes, he also often called her a little swallow, he meant that she had brought to his life like a swallow signaling the coming of spring. Mai said his comparison was cheesy, but he was still happy because in his heart he really felt that way.

Le often made an appointment with Mai on the weekends. He loved the feeling of holding Mai's hand on Sunday mornings and walking around the old town, looking at Mai's ivory-white fingers. Occasionally, she would lift her hand to push her hair back and tilt her head to look at Le, smiling innocently, her eyes were very passionate. This week, Le said that on Saturday night, he would go to Hai's house, a friend from the editorial office, to celebrate his birthday. He probably came home late, so on Sunday afternoon, the two of them made an appointment at the "Vaquero" coffee shop and then go eat something she liked. On Sunday afternoon, Le missed the appointment. Mai called several times but couldn't get through. She lingered and waited, but by 1pm, Le was still nowhere to be seen. The shop was deserted, the song "A Time to Love Someone" played sadly and avoided "The past love has drifted into oblivion, memories are just vague waves, if we keep regretting our love, why love, only to break our souls further, in a long dream..."

Until late Monday evening, without an appointment, Le came to Mai's room, he confessed that, as he had told Mai, last Saturday night he went to Hai's house to attend a birthday party, then he got too drunk, drinking wine was very addictive, he probably drank 2 bottles of wine, he couldn't remember anymore so he had to sleep at his friend's house, slept until noon and forgot the appointment with Mai, it wasn't that he forgot but he was really drunk. He explained awkwardly. Mai noticed that Le was really exhausted, as if he had just gone through a hurricane, his eyes were wild and tired.

Le put his head on Mai's shoulder as if he couldn't control his emotions: "Le, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, it's really bad." Mai said: "It's okay to get drunk, but next time remember to text Mai, so Mai won't have to wait too long." Le felt so mean, he was tormented because he didn't tell Mai everything. "Half the truth is not the truth." On Saturday night, Le was really drunk, Le did sleep at Hai's house, but in that deep sleep, he didn't know what he did. Waking up in the middle of the night, his mind was spinning in chaos, he was shocked to see himself lying on a strange bed, naked and next to him was Thuy - Hai's younger sister.

He didn't understand why he was lying next to Thuy, what she had done to him or what he had done to her, he didn't understand either. A jumble of emotions surrounded him, making him extremely conflicted. He hurriedly got dressed. He felt disgusted with himself. He got up and tried to leave that room, but Thuy had already woken up, her voice dry, "My dad has taken the key, you can't go back." Le had no choice but to turn back to lie on the bed, put his hand on his forehead, and toss and turn. Thuy put her arm around Le's shoulder, he closed his eyes and lay still, hoping for the morning to come soon. He felt disgusted with himself, why did he let himself fall into such a vague situation.

***

Le arranged a trip far away, deep down he wanted to make up for his mistake with Mai, he also wanted to tell Mai everything that happened the night he got drunk. Actually, that tourist destination could be called far or not far, it was about 50 km from the center of Hanoi, the sightseeing area was large, isolated, quite deserted and wild. Mai was impressed by a deep blue lotus lake, especially inside the forest there were many monkeys, a lot of them, they were extremely friendly, even a bit rude in an excessive way, if they were careless they would rush in to rob the guests. The two of them rented a small room after riding a tandem bike around the lotus lake.

At this time, the lotus was just budding, the white lotus buds were still green like young leaves, each lotus bud was only as big as an areca nut, but they looked so juicy. That afternoon, Le promised to love Mai for the rest of his life, she would always be his little swallow and no matter what, he would only love Mai. Mai was very happy, Mai also opened her heart because she saw that he was really serious about this relationship, Le said he would soon bring Mai home to introduce to his parents and relatives. He wanted the two of them to get married at the end of this year. The confession was simple but sincere, Mai felt like the happiest person in the world, a warmth enveloped the present, it was just that after today, tomorrow she would surely have to face the pressure of age, not knowing if Le's family would accept her.

Le also completely forgot that he was going to confess to Mai the story of getting drunk and suddenly a girl fell on him from somewhere… He forgot because Mai was so beautiful, so seductive that it was overwhelming. Le was infatuated with her, Mai made him feel like he was drifting through fragrant lands full of flowers and fruits, sometimes like someone lost in a burning desert… he didn’t know anymore, he wanted to stay in this feeling forever. Mai gave him all the most precious things in the most intense way, as if tomorrow they might lose each other in this life.

***

Someone believed in reincarnation, that the current life was not their first life, but the continuation of their soul's journey through many reincarnations. Le also vaguely realized that Mai made him feel familiar, not at first sight. Sometimes he told himself that maybe it was because Mai was very beautiful, very attractive, but he still felt that there was always something in Mai that was very difficult to describe in words, it was truly a strange familiarity. Since that first spring until now, 20 years have passed, everything has changed, the earth and sky have changed, only people's hearts remain the same every spring.

Le always remembers Mai like a small swallow bringing spring, he remembers Mai's beautiful smile and her black eyes, remembers Mai's body, every time he thinks of that moment he feels like he is sliding down the sand hill and longing to explore, remembers the times when the two of them were in the utmost happiness, remembers Mai's fingers drooping like dragon claw flower petals. He likes to look at her when she sleeps, serene, carefree and fresh, with light brown lips, sweet peach-pink lips. He doesn't understand why over the years Mai has never sought the truth about his betrayal, he wonders why she never blames him or if Mai has determined that she needs generosity, which is to love herself, generosity so that she can live more peacefully as she once shared.

Over the years, Le has not yet overcome his torment, besieged by disappointment in himself, he feels extremely sorry for Mai. He is always haunted by the night he got drunk, to the point that he feels like he is trapped, a perfect trap of a predator. After that drunken night, four months later, Thuy informed him that he was about to become a father. It was a thunderclap, humiliating for him, even more humiliating for Mai. After that, Mai did not see Le, cut off all ties with Le, she did not cry, did not scream but surely in her heart she could not forgive.

As for Le, after the drunken incident, he had no other choice, a hasty wedding was held with an extremely simple ceremony. 3 days after the wedding, Thuy's father had a stroke. The funeral was held very quickly. Within 4 days, he witnessed and experienced a wedding and a funeral as a challenge and irony of fate. So from a 27-year-old man, Le officially became a father when baby Bi was born, the young man began to face the many burdens of family life.

***

Since knowing that Bi was not his child, Le was sad and depressed. He gritted his teeth and endured, but he loved her very much, love was freedom, there was definitely nothing that could change it. Family life was heavy and deadlocked, Thuy became more and more irritable, nothing satisfied her. Every time she got angry, the whites of Thuy's eyes became more. Her newly-pumped bright red lips looked so big and suffocating. He loved Bi, for some reason he was never angry with her. Le often hated himself, he thought about that fateful night a thousand times. It was clear that Thuy's body had something strange, she was not a young girl in her twenties. At that time, although it was only vague, he could not overcome his fear and judgment.

Many times Le wanted to meet Mai, but she refused with silence. Deep in his heart, he wanted to spend the entire spring with Mai because he only felt truly happiest and most fulfilled when he was with Mai. This year, Tet came early, the weather was as cold as Tet in the past, still banh chung, pickled onions, bamboo shoot soup, braised pork, ham, but he still lacked Mai. It had always been like that, for the past 20 years. On the first day of spring, he often texted Mai, but Mai never responded, not even with a short text message.

Now, after the storms of life, he silently blamed time. Time was more cruel than anything in the world, more heartless than anything in the world, more cruel than anything in the world. Why? It never looked back, never did anyone any favors, never waited or favored anyone. It just kept going and kept walking like a madman, ignorant. For Le himself, time - he also had a cruel name. His hair had a few silver strands, his face was deeply wrinkled by time, his son had grown up, he was still beautiful and obedient, he was also somewhat simple and bland.

He texted Mai without hesitation: "I miss you, my little swallow, I don't know when we will be able to be together again." The message was sent, he also packed his things neatly, he sent a letter to his son (he always considered Bi as his son) and one to Thuy. He could have texted but he preferred to write, as if the pen could easily touch his heart or something like that. His heart was restless, he wanted to find his little swallow, the swallow that had brought spring to him, and then he had abandoned it in a shameful and insensitive way. Now he understood that, to have something great, we might have to trade thousands of things we have.

 

Short story by Doan Thi Phuong Nhung

Source: https://baobacgiang.vn/mua-xuan-nam-ay-postid416382.bbg