Major Dao Mai Anh, a medical officer of Battalion 1, Brigade 604, has a husband working at the Lai Chau Provincial Military Command. Currently, her family lives in Group 14, Zone 2, Van Phu Ward, Viet Tri City (Phu Tho). Because her husband is often away from home and has little time or conditions for his family, Major Dao Mai Anh has to take care of almost all the matters on both sides of the family. She always tries to arrange her time and handle them carefully, both completing her professional tasks well and raising her children to be well-behaved so that her husband can work with peace of mind. “My husband and I are both soldiers, so we understand the specifics of our jobs and can easily share with each other. Moreover, even though he works far from home, he often calls to encourage me to overcome difficult times in life as well as guide my children's studies, which makes me always feel secure and warm,” Major Dao Mai Anh shared.

The Military Command of Tuyen Quang province organized a seminar on "Building happy and sustainable military families", June 2023. Photo: HOANG VINH

The family of Major Giang Thi Tam, President of the Women's Union of the 379th Economic-Defense Group, is one of the typical military families of the unit. Ms. Tam is from Muong Cha district (Dien Bien), her husband is Captain Ngo Huy Phong, a service officer, General Staff Department, Economic-Defense Group 379, from Ngoc My commune, Lap Thach district (Vinh Phuc), hundreds of kilometers away from the unit. Ms. Tam and Mr. Phong were lent a piece of land by the 379th Economic-Defense Group to build a temporary house in Nam Chim 1 village, Si Pa Phin commune, Nam Po district (Dien Bien) near the unit for work convenience. Major Giang Thi Tam, a member of the Military Police Department, said: "Compared to many other military families, my family has more advantages because my husband and I work in the same unit, and the unit cares for us and creates favorable conditions in all aspects. This is the motivation and also the responsibility for us to build a happy family together. In my opinion, if my husband and I have the opportunity to live close to each other, that's good, but if not, we must try to overcome it, live optimistically, and not compare or complain..."

The above are just two of hundreds of military families in agencies and units of Military Region 2 where the husband and wife work far from each other or have hometowns far from the unit, despite many difficulties, they always keep the "fire" of happiness because of love and sharing; and are cared for and helped by the Party Committee and commanders of agencies and units. In today's society, families in general, and military families in particular, are affected by many negative aspects of socio-economic life. Therefore, according to representatives of military families that we had the opportunity to learn about, it is inevitable that there will be times when "the rice is not good, the soup is not sweet". If the husband and wife do not understand, share, and give in to each other, it will easily lead to a rift in their feelings, even a broken marriage. To build a happy military family, each family member needs to know how to "separate the muddy to bring out the clear", put aside their "ego", and take family happiness and the future of their children as their goals to strive for.

According to Colonel Nguyen Thanh An, Deputy Political Commissar of the Military Command of Tuyen Quang province, husband and wife need to be deeply aware of their responsibility in building family happiness; know how to harmonize relationships. Whether working near or far, they must always respect each other, share, and encourage each other to overcome difficulties. A happy, harmonious family will have a positive impact on the community, contributing to promoting the development of society. “A happy family is not only full of prosperity but also a place where cultural beauty converges, expressed through the attitudes, behaviors, and conduct of each member. That is, with superiors, they must be respectful, polite, modest, caring, and attentive; with subordinates, they must be tolerant, helpful, and forgiving; husband and wife must live in harmony on the basis of love, loyalty, and mutual understanding,” Colonel Nguyen Thanh An confided.

CAO MANH TUONG

Happiness is knowing how to share

My husband is Captain Nguyen Van Tam, Head of the Mass Mobilization Team, Ba Nang Border Guard Station (Border Guard of Quang Tri Province), stationed in the mountainous district of Huong Hoa, bordering Laos. My children and I live in Gio Linh town, Gio Linh district (Quang Tri). From the time I fell in love with him until now, we have spent more time apart than together, but I always feel that my choice was the right one.

Captain Nguyen Van Tam's family. Photo provided by the family

We met through a close friend of my husband, at that time I was a student at Saigon University, and he was a student at the Border Guard Academy in Hanoi. We lived at opposite ends of the country, we kept in touch via phone, Facebook and email. In the middle of the city with so many temptations, I still devoted myself to the border guard student with an honest, gentle personality; sharing his difficulties and hardships... For many years, because of the long distance and a lot of work, he only came home once every 1-2 months. Especially, on holidays and Tet, he had to be on duty at the unit. When the Covid-19 epidemic broke out, he was gone for half a year. However, my children and I, the family, are very proud of him, of what he has done and is doing. Although we are far apart, we have never felt the distance. We often share work and daily life over the phone in the evening; encourage each other for the happiness of the family, for the future of the children to strive together. In my heart, I also wanted him to be transferred to a unit near home, but I didn't want my husband to think about that. I told myself that if you love a soldier, you have to "love" all those difficulties and disadvantages. And I felt that I was compensated because every time he came home, he always helped me clean the house, take the children to school, cook... just as the writer Chu Lai once compared: Although marrying a soldier means being far away from each other, when you come home, every night is a wedding night, every week is a honeymoon.

Ms. HO THI HOA

(wife of Captain Nguyen Van Tam, Captain of the Mass Mobilization Team, Ba Nang Border Guard Station, Quang Tri Provincial Border Guard)

-------------

Love, longing and encouragement

We got married in 2009, and after a month my husband went on a mission. Now we have two children, but he is only home occasionally. After giving birth twice, I understand the hardships of my husband working on a remote island. Every time the weather changes and my child gets sick, I have to take care of him alone and take him to the doctor. I remember one time at the National Children's Hospital, when the doctor called me in for a check-up, I held my one-month-old baby in one arm and my three-year-old in the other. That day, my grandmother went with me and my child, but she was old and weak so she couldn't help much. When the doctor ordered my child to have a chest X-ray, my child and I walked together for a while and then turned around and couldn't find my grandmother, so I hurriedly went to look for her. At that time, I felt so sorry for myself, tears kept falling, I wished that if my husband was there, it would be less difficult...

Major Duong Ngoc Tan's family. Photo provided by the family

Through moments of weakness, I told myself to be strong, to suppress my own emotions so that my husband could work with peace of mind. I put all my longing into love and words of encouragement so that my husband could fulfill his duty with peace of mind. On the contrary, my husband is also very considerate, although he does not have much time with his family, he always cares and encourages his wife and children. In his free time, he calls home to ask about his children's studies, health, and his wife's work. When he comes home on leave, he always spends all his time taking care of his family. Therefore, despite the difficulties and hardships, I always feel happy and my children and I will always be a solid support, a strong spiritual motivation for my husband to work with peace of mind, to complete all assigned tasks well. My children and I are also very proud because he is day and night firmly holding his gun to protect the sacred sea and islands of the Fatherland.

Ms. DINH THI LE QUYEN

(wife of Major Duong Ngoc Tan, Political Commissar of Toc Tan C Island, Truong Sa, Khanh Hoa)

----------

Take care of the family together

At that time, he was a kitchen manager at the Tan Phuoc District Military Command (Tien Giang Province Military Command), so he often went to the market to buy food. I was a teacher at Phu Cuong Primary School, Cai Lay District, Tien Giang Province (now transferred to Nhi Quy Primary School, Cai Lay Town, Tien Giang Province). We often went to work on the same route, so I got to know him and developed feelings for him. We "moved home together" in 2003.

Family of Major Nguyen Anh Tuan. Photo provided by family

After more than 20 years of living together, I understand that although his job is not on the border or on an island like many of his comrades, it also has its own hardships. It must be said that soldiers have a hard time everywhere. Like the Covid-19 pandemic a few years ago, he and his comrades had to be on duty at checkpoints regularly, serving patients and people in quarantine areas... At that time, I was very worried but also very proud and confident that he would complete his mission well. The unit is about 30km from home but he can only return home every week. Whenever he is home, he takes the initiative to do housework, from taking care of the garden, helping his wife cook, do the laundry, cleaning the house to taking the children to school... In particular, he also helps me make electronic lesson plans to serve teaching work. His care, encouragement, and sharing have contributed significantly to helping me achieve the title of excellent teacher at the district and provincial levels for many years in a row. He loves his children but is strict in teaching them. Therefore, our two sons are both obedient and good at studying.

Married life inevitably has moments of anger. At those times, my husband and I calmly talk and listen. As both cadres and party members, we are determined to be exemplary in every word and action, setting an example for our children. In my opinion, happiness is knowing how to love, care, and take care of our children until they grow up...

Ms. HO THI LIEU

(wife of Major Nguyen Anh Tuan, finance officer, Tan Phuoc District Military Command, Tien Giang Provincial Military Command)