Teach children not to bully others and not to be afraid of being bullied by others to avoid school violence.

Illustration: DAD

As reported by Tuoi Tre Online : On October 8, the Investigation Police Agency of Vinh Yen City Police (Vinh Phuc Province) said it was consolidating the case file and handling the case of intentional injury between two female students of Vinh Phuc Vocational College (Lien Bao Ward, Vinh Yen City).

It is worth mentioning that a 10th grade female student used a knife to seriously stab her friend in the middle of the classroom.

When will we stop seeing heartbreaking stories of school violence? What are the causes of school violence? How can we prevent school violence from the root?

To add more perspective, below is the sharing of reader Luong Dinh Khoa around this issue.

School violence comes from anger and fear.

I have joined the community “Raising children in happiness” with nearly 300,000 members on Facebook. This is a space for parents to exchange and discuss issues of raising children, with the companionship of experienced and dedicated parents and teachers.

I remember in a sharing session about raising children for parents, teacher Duong Quang Minh (Can Tho) - the founder of this community - pointed out that the origin of school violence comes from anger and fear.

“Anger is the tendency to attack others, while fear creates victims.

So school violence seems like a problem that schools need to solve, but in fact that is only the tip of the iceberg. The root that needs to be addressed is still the way children are raised, the relationship between parents and children in families," explained Mr. Duong Quang Minh.

According to Mr. Minh, in situations of interaction between parents and children, if not careful, it will push children into one of two directions: They will become the ones attacking others or being attacked by others.

When parents create pressure and pressure on their children, there will usually be two groups of reactions: One group is emotionally suppressed and pretends to listen obediently. If we keep repeating this and want our children to be 100% obedient, they will become submissive.

The remaining group will tend to break out, venting their frustration on objects or classmates.

It is a fact that many parents make mistakes in raising their children, that is, when they see their children are afraid of something, they often avoid it and do not let them come into contact with it. As a result, their children's fears remain intact, not being released or overcome. Fear can only be resolved by facing it.

The lack of tact in each family is also the cause of children being born resigned and afraid of life. For example, if at home parents scold their children for being lazy and stupid, then when they go to class, a crowd of friends will gather around and say: "You are stupid, I don't play with you."

That child is being mentally abused. He will not dare tell his teacher or parents because he is afraid that he will be scolded again if he tells them.

If the mental violence continues for a long time and the child continues to endure it, it will have a very serious psychological impact. Looking back, we will see that we ourselves teach our children to be fearful and resigned through our tactless, impatient, and calm words and actions right in the family.

Fear of father and mother is also the reason why many children are abused but do not speak up immediately when something happens.

Parents must be the first to not "bully" their children.

I know some of the principals and teachers who work in school counseling. They all said that in school, the students who are attacked are usually shy, withdrawn, and have few close friends or groups. Because if they had many, they would certainly have been protected by their friends or groups.

Parents need to raise their children so that they don't have the need to bully anyone and are strong enough inside so that no one can bully them.

There are girls who, when insulted, look straight into the other person’s eyes with a seriousness and inner strength that makes the person who insulted them feel embarrassed, confused, and avoid them. But if a girl only looks down at the ground when attacked, she will tend to become a victim.

If your child has been bullied or teased in class, parents need to connect and listen to their child, so that they can express all their feelings.

Parents should never loudly blame their children: Why didn't they speak up sooner, why did they get bullied? Doing so will only create more fear for the child, making them feel isolated and next time they will definitely not share anything with their parents.

So, in order to teach children not to bully anyone and no one can bully them, the first thing parents need to do is: Do not become the bully of their children in the family, and do not use parental authority to oppress their children.

All parents believe that if their children do what they want, they will be happy. In fact, children are only happy when they do what they want. So parents need to let their children be themselves.

What should be taught to children is to know how to distinguish right from wrong and to fear what is wrong, to stay away from what is wrong, not to teach children to fear their parents.

Controlling emotions will not lead to violence.

When a person has deviant behavior, it means that they are experiencing emotional blockages inside. Imagine if we don't shower for 3 days and feel itchy and uncomfortable. If we let our emotions get blocked for a long time without being "cleaned", it is very dangerous.

Those negative emotions that are accumulated can easily flare up at any time, creating a lot of stress, fatigue, and hurt for yourself and those around you.

Even more worrying, they can lead to behaviors that are destructive to your health and the lives of others. That's why everyone needs to practice emotional intelligence (EQ).

Only when people recognize, process, and control all their emotions will violence not arise, but only wisdom and love to live a better and more peaceful life.

Teacher Duong Quang Minh

Source: https://tuoitre.vn/day-tre-khong-an-hiep-nguoi-khac-va-khong-so-nguoi-khac-an-hiep-de-tranh-bao-luc-hoc-duong-20241009104157993.htm