Isolated by parents' association for not contributing money to buy gifts for teachers on November 20

At the beginning of November, Ms. Tran Thu Thao (37 years old, Hanoi) was added to 2-3 parent chat groups to discuss paying for gifts for homeroom teachers on the upcoming Vietnamese Teachers' Day, November 20. Previously, on the occasion of October 20, she had to leave many groups for the same reason. This time, she was added to the group again, making Ms. Thao quite upset.

According to Ms. Thao, these groups are not established by the parents' representative committee but are established by the parents in the class themselves and invite "potential" parents to join. Each group only has about 5-7 parents, not too many.

The donation to buy gifts for teachers on November 20th has made many parents worried. (Illustration photo)

Each conversation starts with a message from the group representative, everyone using the excuse of expressing gratitude to the teacher after a hard semester and congratulating her on a big holiday. However, to express gratitude, each person needs to contribute 300,000 or 500,000 VND depending on the group. The participating parents are all financially well-off, most of them responded to the donation movement with the hope that the teacher will pay more attention to their children next semester.

At first, Ms. Thao wondered why the parents who wanted the gift did not bring their own gifts. Some parents explained to her that if they went individually, the value of the gift would be too small, at 300,000 - 500,000 VND. Therefore, the parents encouraged each other to contribute so that the gift sent to the teacher would be larger.

"If you want a big gift, why don't you use the class fund from the beginning of the year to give it?", Ms. Thao asked and was explained: The whole class's gift is given by the parents' association, but if the whole group goes like that, the teacher will not remember the faces of the other students, only remember a few parents' association representatives giving the gift. In order to not be "disadvantaged", the parents decided to spend more money to give a separate gift, go in groups, and clearly write the teacher's name so that she will be more attentive.

Ms. Thao disagreed with the way those parents acted. "They made me feel like I was buying points for my child. November 20th is no longer meaningful when parents are too materialistic, so I absolutely refuse to participate." After refusing and leaving the chat groups three times, Ms. Thao worried that she would be isolated by the parents in her class.

Many parents believe that giving expensive gifts is a way to show gratitude to teachers. (Illustration photo)

No longer a worry, Ms. Hoang Tuyet (41 years old, Bac Ninh) was actually isolated by many parents just because she did not contribute 250,000 VND in gifts for teachers on November 20. Her house is not very expensive, Ms. Tuyet is a single mother raising 2 children, so 250,000 is not a small amount of money for her family.

At the beginning of the school year, she borrowed money to try to pay 1.5 million VND to the parents' fund. Now, if she pays this amount more, it will be too much.

Although she had clearly explained her family's situation and hoped that the parents' association would sympathize, Ms. Tuyet received phone calls from her classmates' parents five or seven times "reminding" her to pay the money. Some people said that Ms. Tuyet's failure to pay would affect the class's gift-buying progress, and even harsher words said that she was "a rotten apple spoiling the barrel". This made Ms. Tuyet both feel hurt and frustrated.

"Showing gratitude on Teachers' Day is a beautiful and sacred thing. I don't understand when this turned into an exchange. This is a voluntary thing. Those who have the means can show gratitude with a big gift, those who don't have money can show gratitude with wishes and thanks," Ms. Tuyet thinks that on November 20, teachers just hope that their students will be good and study well because teaching is a noble profession, not everyone is greedy for material things.

Therefore, despite the scornful comments from other parents, Ms. Tuyet still believes that not contributing is not something wrong and should not be condemned.

Ms. Tran Thu Hoai (Teacher at Le Thanh Tong Inter-level School) shared that November 20 is an occasion for teachers to look back on their teaching process, being loved and respected by students, parents, and colleagues is the most precious gift. Ms. Hoai has received many expensive gifts on this holiday, but for her, feelings are the most important thing, greater than material things, so she always returns them to parents.

On the occasion of November 20 this year, Ms. Hoai has prepared her messages to parents, asking not to accept gifts, big or small, but only to accept wishes. This teacher hopes that her small actions will create fairness in the classroom, and that parents will also be less pressured, not having to worry about whether or not to give gifts and what to give to teachers.

Meritorious Teacher Thai Dinh Huong, former Principal of Le Thi Rieng High School (Hoa Binh, Bac Lieu) said that perhaps because many parents are worried about their children, wanting to receive attention and education from teachers, they put emphasis on showing gratitude with valuable gifts or envelopes. However, this is not the "way" that respect for teachers is shown through the students' attitudes towards studying and training, and the parents' attitudes towards teachers.

Mr. Huong admitted that teachers who have a heart and are honest never care about what gifts students or parents give them or how valuable they are. What teachers need is the support of parents in educating their children so that they can work with the school to help them become good people.

As for students, the most precious gift to show gratitude to teachers is to try to be good, study seriously, and make progress, then teachers will appreciate and love them very much. "Therefore, I think parents and students should not worry or be too concerned about gifts during holidays and Tet," Mr. Huong confided.

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