GĐXH - She has had to take care of her grandson alone since he was one year old to maintain family harmony.
In 2019, Ms. Wang, an elderly woman in Sichuan, China, sued her son and daughter-in-law and demanded 140,000 yuan (about 457 million VND) for taking care of her grandson for 8 years, since the baby was only one year old.
However, Ms. Wang was only paid half of the requested amount, after the judge ordered the couple to pay the mother 70,000 yuan.
Ms. Wang said that she has been taking care of her grandson by herself since he was one year old. Accordingly, she has paid all of his living expenses, tuition, and medical expenses to maintain family harmony.
However, despite her best efforts, Ms. Wang's son and daughter-in-law still expressed their intention to divorce.
Feeling angry, Ms. Wang sued her son and daughter-in-law in court, demanding that they pay her the money she spent raising her grandchild.
Grandparents always love their children and grandchildren unconditionally. Illustration photo
She said she sued her children not for money but because she wanted them to know that they needed to be responsible in taking care of their children.
For the past eight years, Ms. Wang has been the one who has taken care of most of her grandson's living expenses and raised and educated the child.
Meanwhile, her daughter-in-law and son, after working away from home for a while, wanted to divorce and go their separate ways. She considered it an irresponsible act on both their part.
News of the incident has received mixed reactions from Chinese netizens. Some people support Ms. Wang and say she deserves more money.
Grandparents are not obligated to take care of their grandchildren.
Recently, many daughters-in-law have been online "blaming" their parents for refusing to look after their grandchildren. The first daughter-in-law said she was very upset when her parents-in-law said they were not free to look after their grandchildren.
" Despite being the one to help her daughter-in-law give birth, look after her grandchild, and become a grandmother, my mother-in-law doesn't help me much. Only when I really need help will she hold the baby for a bit. Other than that, I have to do everything myself.
When the day came for me to return to work, my husband and I asked her to help look after the children. We thought she would agree right away, but she calmly replied, "I won't look after your children, I'm not free." My husband was also shocked by that answer.
A few days later, my husband proposed to her again and offered to give her 2 million VND for babysitting, he even dragged his father-in-law in to put pressure on her. But the answer was still the same, "You're too tired, you're too old to take care of the baby."
The second woman's story shows that her mother-in-law was also asked to come from the countryside to look after her grandchild while her daughter-in-law went to work, but she gave many reasons for not wanting to go. That the fields were unfinished, her part-time job was also bringing in good income, if she quit, where would she get the money to support her brother-in-law's education...
Seeing that her mother was right, her husband discussed with her that if her grandmother came to look after the children, he would give her three million each month as her salary.
But hearing that, the daughter-in-law was extremely upset because according to her, she was a mother, a grandmother, helping her children and grandchildren but still taking money, which was not good. Then it would be better to hire a maid.
" With that amount of money, I can totally hire someone to take care of my child while I'm at work. It's healthy and I don't have to rely on my mother-in-law and live like a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Is it right for my grandmother to take care of her grandchild and pay her? " - she said to her husband.
The story of the two daughters-in-law mentioned above is quite common in today's society. Most daughters-in-law, even daughters, think that it is the grandparents' natural duty to look after their grandchildren.
When you leave your children with their grandparents, you take away their freedom. Illustration photo
Asking grandparents to look after their grandchildren is forcing them to live a "repetitive" life. Grandparents are the ones who spent their youth struggling to raise their children to become good people.
When they reach adulthood, they reach retirement age, with poor health and limited income. At this age, the elderly should rest and relax.
Depending on their economic conditions, they can travel, spend time on their own hobbies such as joining clubs for the elderly, planting trees, taking care of pets...
When you give your children to them, you take away their freedom.
Wanting to protect their children, or thinking that "saving every penny is a good thing", grandparents voluntarily "put aside" personal desires to spend time with their grandchildren.
Having sacrificed for their children, they now have to sacrifice for their grandchildren. They are forced to live the same stage of life over and over again.
Readers of the Chinese newspaper Aboluowang have had heated debates on this topic. Some opinions say that taking care of grandchildren is also a joy for grandparents, not entirely a responsibility.
In response to that, many people say that taking care of young children is a difficult job, requiring not only health, but also parenting knowledge.
The "difference" in child-rearing views between the previous generation and this generation can become the source of conflicts in the family.
Therefore, instead of letting grandparents take care of their grandchildren, you should take the initiative to send your children to school, or hire suitable nannies.
Relying on parents' kindness and asking them to babysit is truly "unfilial".
Asian culture values the value of the elderly in the family, unintentionally putting pressure on them, by imposing the responsibility of taking care of the next generations, supporting children financially if possible, helping to look after grandchildren...
In fact, each person has their own life. When you give birth, you should prepare financially and physically to ensure you can take good care of your child, instead of relying on your elderly parents.
Many people think that when parents retire, they are "free", "have nothing to do"... so they try to take advantage of it.
Many people even rely on their parents' kindness and leave their children to them, even ignoring them day and night, because they think "grandparents will take care of them". This is completely wrong and selfish.
Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/ba-noi-doi-tien-trong-chau-duoc-cu-dan-mang-ung-ho-172250206153501254.htm
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