9 things parents expect that hurt their children.

Social Studies - Having too many expectations of children can make things difficult for both parents and children...

To build relationships and foster trust with teenagers, adults must ensure that the children are capable of doing the task before making any requests.

Lowering expectations is perfectly normal. This doesn't mean that parents or children are failures in any way.

In fact, lowering expectations can help make a bond stronger than ever.

Here are 9 things parents should stop expecting:

1. Expectations for the child to attend the school of their choice.

As parents, before choosing a field of study for your child(ren), you should try to consider your child's choice first.

Their passions and talents should be carefully evaluated and never interfered with because children can easily become distracted whenever forced to learn something outside of their passion.

9 điều cha mẹ kỳ vọng khiến con tổn thương- Ảnh 1. — Their passions and talents should be carefully evaluated, and parents should never interfere. (Illustrative image)

2. Expecting your child to achieve perfect scores.

Report cards with all 9s and 10s, and top or second place rankings? That's great, but don't let grades of 7s and 8s become a source of disappointment for your child just because they haven't met your expectations.

Look at your child's effort. Don't expect perfection. They deserve more than that.

According to The Washington Post, perfectionism stems from many factors, not just parental influence.

Since the early 2000s, young people have described the pressure to appear perfect in every aspect of their lives, from schoolwork and sports to activities and appearance.

Social media has raised the bar for perfection in teenagers' pursuit of self-worth.

3. Expect your child not to spend money unnecessarily.

Children need to be taught about spending and saving money through everyday activities.

There are some items that adults consider useless and pointless, but which children find extremely fascinating.

A snack to share with friends, a new toy, or a favorite shirt—children can absolutely save up to buy them.

Of course, parents will offer advice when they see that a purchase is inappropriate. However, instead of forbidding it, let the child realize the problem on their own.

When parents give their children pocket money, it becomes shared property, and the children have the full right to decide what to buy with it and how to use it, with guidance from their parents.

This spending practice can be helpful for a child when they spend money on frivolous things and then feel regret.

In this way, they will learn how to control their spending and distinguish between immediate desires and truly important needs and wants.

4. Expecting children to act like adults.

Indeed, families teach children proper manners, and teenagers still practice them, just not as much as you'd like.

But please be understanding towards them, these children are going through puberty.

Yes, young people at this age often look more like adults, but they haven't completely become adults yet. Let them be children while they can.

5. Expecting children to do what parents believe is right.

Many parents believe that adults, being experienced, know exactly what is good and what is not, so children are obligated to follow their advice and are not allowed to argue.

However, this is completely wrong. Preventing children from debating is tantamount to depriving them of their individual freedom of speech.

Children who are not allowed to express their opinions will feel suppressed and believe that their parents do not understand them.

Listen to your child, allow them to open up, and acknowledge what they share. From there, parents and children need to sit down together and find a better path forward instead of arguing and conflicting.

Through each debate, both parents and children will gain a deeper understanding and learn more.

9 điều cha mẹ kỳ vọng khiến con tổn thương- Ảnh 2. — Many parents believe that adults, being more experienced, know exactly what is good and what is not, and therefore children must obey without question. (Illustrative image)

6. Expect your child to tell you everything.

When I was little, every time school ended, I would eagerly want to go home and tell my parents what had happened at school that day.

As children grow older, that feeling begins to fade. By adolescence, it's almost nonexistent. Young people are at an age where privacy is essential.

The Center for Parenting Education (USA) states that there are two common mistakes parents often make:

- One reason is loosening supervision too early, before children are ready to take responsibility for their actions. For example, parents not checking their teenagers' social media posts when they are in middle school.

- The second mistake is over-control. For example, insisting on reading all of your child's written work.

7. Expect your child not to do anything too silly.

Psychologists say that children are tending to mature too quickly.

This is actually not surprising, given that children are in a world where they constantly hear things like "you're not a child anymore," "what you're doing is so childish," or "when will you grow up?" from their parents.

Children will not achieve natural mental development if someone dictates things to them as easily as a click of a mouse – they may pretend to be mature, but they will not be prepared for the difficulties that adulthood will bring.

If your child still has a childlike personality and childhood interests, there's no reason to force them to give these things up. Let your child develop at their own pace.

8. Expecting your child to be perfect.

There is a lot of pressure when parents look at social media and compare what their children are doing to what other children are doing.

An unpleasant truth is that people rarely share the bad things about their children on social media. Therefore, you mostly see news about how wonderful other people's children are.

What parent doesn't like to brag and be proud of their child? So, the story isn't always so positive; you're only seeing the tip of the iceberg.