GĐXH - Based on her experience, Ms. Phuong has summarized and written the book "I sent three children to Harvard". Through that, it can be seen that family education plays an important role in the future of children.
Phuong Li is a famous mother in China thanks to her very special achievement: Raising 3 children (two girls, one boy) who passed the entrance exam to Harvard University - the world's number 1 prestigious school.
It is worth mentioning that her children are not natural geniuses. Her son was even considered "slow" compared to his friends. However, under Ms. Phuong's upbringing, miracles have appeared.
Accordingly, to have 3 children graduate from Harvard University, Ms. Phuong Li shared 6 golden words in raising children: Talk a lot, taboos and experience.
Ms. Phuong Li, author of the book "I sent three children to Harvard".
talkative
"My mother talks too much, how can I make her nag less? " is the complaint of many children when their parents complain about their studies.
But "talking a lot" to Phuong Li was not urging or blaming, but she only said three words a lot: "Mom loves you".
When her eldest daughter was in middle school, one day she brought home a wooden wristwatch as a gift for her mother. It was the result of learning carpentry at school.
The mother was cooking, so she put the gift on the table and continued cooking. Seeing her mother's attitude, the daughter burst into tears, blaming her for having worked so hard to make a gift for her mother, but she didn't like it and didn't even say thank you.
At that time, Phuong Li knew she was wrong. She explained: "The watch is very beautiful but I rarely praise my children because I'm afraid they will become arrogant."
From that day on, even when urging her child to do homework, the mother always ended it with the words: "I love you."
"Son, finish your homework before playing. I love you" or "Don't do that next time. I love you"...
These three words are like a magic potion, helping mothers transmit positive energy to their children.
Later, when friends asked Phuong Li's three children why they had such a good relationship with their mother, all three answered: "Because mother loves us and is willing to do anything, as long as it is good for us."
According to Ms. Phuong, when parents express their love for their children through words, children are conveyed the message that the relationship between them and their parents is very positive. They can fully feel the love and care their family has for them.
Love expressed through words makes children's psychology stronger, they feel safe and confident in everything they do. The power of saying I love you to your child is not only temporary, but also builds strong confidence, helping children throughout their life.
Taboo
Many mothers often have the habit of scolding their children: "If you don't study well, you won't be able to get into university"; "With this kind of mind, you can't do anything"; "If you study like this, how can you do business?", ... Ms. Phuong Li said that these things should not be said to children.
"I feel like these statements are like a curse to children," she said. When parents always emphasize "you can't" or "you can't do it", it will make children lack confidence and motivation, quickly giving up on their goals.
In the book I Sent Three Children to Harvard, Ms. Phuong Li shared: "Parents should not say that their children's dreams are unrealistic or that they cannot achieve them. Instead, encourage them and say that they need to work hard to achieve that dream."
Ms. Phuong shared that she has a close friend who graduated with a doctorate and has a successful career. This person believes that her success comes from self-discipline and hopes that her son will be like her. Therefore, she has made a detailed schedule for her son from early morning to late night.
A few days later, she complained to Ms. Phuong Li about her son's rebellious attitude. Based on this story, Ms. Phuong Li said that when making plans for children, it is necessary to respect their opinions, parents only play a guiding role and do not turn their children into robots.
"Forcing and controlling children is unwise. The prerequisite for children to courageously pursue their dreams is the trust and affirmation of their parents ," said the Harvard mother.
Phuong Li and her son on a trip back to China to visit relatives in 2019. Photo: sohu
Experience
Phuong Li believes that mothers must play the role of a coach " to discover potential and inspire children to do better in everything they like".
The experience she emphasized has three contents: Allowing children to experience equality, experience parental support, and explore their own potential.
As a result, with her mother's support, the eldest daughter received her first patent in high school, the second daughter was allowed to skate when her academic performance declined, and the youngest son wrote his first book at the age of nine.
Not only does this mother encourage with words, she always follows through with actions.
Hearing her eldest daughter talking about a scientific research at the dinner table, Phuong Li spent 20 days researching documents, consulting with a lawyer, and then encouraged her to file a patent application.
After learning that her second daughter admired a Chinese figure skater, Ms. Phuong agreed to let her try it out and drove her to class every day, returning home at midnight.
To keep her daughter from going hungry before skating lessons, she often woke up at 4am to cook. When she realized her third son had a talent for writing, the mother persisted in going to work at 5am so that she could leave work at 3pm, and go on adventures with her son to get inspired to write.
This process of experience for young children is not only discovery, but also broadening of horizons.
"Children will have more knowledge, a broader vision, and can do many things that others cannot do. Children also believe that they can do anything if they dare to try," said Ms. Phuong.
The three children later relied on their own abilities to enter Harvard, and Phuong Li was nicknamed "Harvard Mother" from then on.
Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/6-chu-vang-trong-viec-day-do-cua-ba-me-co-3-con-thi-do-dai-hoc-harvard-172241201104147881.htm
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